The baby trap

"I married a lovely, sexy girl — then she turned into someone's mother.. ." This comment, from a young man consulting a marriage guidance counsellor, contains a painful truth about life in Britain today. From birth, boys are encouraged to grow, taught to conquer new worlds. From cradle to altar, girls are conditioned to believe that their only 'real' growth and fulfillment will come with the bearing of children. And yet how many women really do expand their horizons in the confines of nappies, potties and midnight feedings? For many women the birth of children marks the end of adventure, of growth, of sexuality, sometimes even of love itself. A woman caught in the Baby Trap has less time to spend with the man she married and is less free to share his world. And a man, harassed by mounting bills, the lack of spontaneity in his life, and the awesome two-decade obligations of fatherhood, may look elsewhere for the joy and excitement his marriage has lost. In examining the effects of children on the emotional balances of marriage, Ellen Peck reveals how the Baby Trap works; how it is set by the media, filled with appealing babies, carefree mothers and idealised families. How it is baited by the manufacturers for whom babies mean healthy profits and an ever constant market; by well-meaning relatives perpetuating their own mistakes or seeking vicarious youth; by identity-confused girls seeking a role to play or 'something to offer' their husbands. How it is triggered by the machinations of a culture that finds babies profitable and childfree women a threat. Having stripped the tinsel'from the motherhood Myth, she shows how to avoid the Baby Trap and explores and expounds on some of the many fruitful alternatives available for the girl who has the courage to exercise her freedom of choice.